Course : Ghetto Garage Sales 101

Professor : April "Cheapskate" Bishop

Lesson: How to humiliate yourself for $3.45

1. Drive past a garage sale with no money and no wallet

2. Impulsively decide that you should stop, "just to look..."

3. Find a small purchase (3 baby bottles for $1, for example)

4. Notice the ADORABLE little-man suits that your nephew would look adorable in

5. Loudly tell your daughters that you are going to see if you have enough money in the car (make sure garage sale host hears that you've been playing softball and have no wallet.)

6. Prayerfully search your ash tray for quarters

7. or dimes

8. or if you're desperate, nickles

9. Realize that you have a total of $3.45

10. Fill one hand entirely full of all your loose change

11. With an embarrassed grin ask the garage sale host that "If I put the bottles back, can I have the suit for... this? And hold our your handful of change.

12. Pretend to ignore the sniggering of other garage salers

13. Politely dump all your change on the little card table, pick up your new suit (Merry Christmas Alan!) and RUN!

14. Try and remind yourself that you'll never see any of those folk again... Until the next garage sale!!!

Class dismissed!