911

911 Operator: "Is this an emergency?"
me: "Uh, yes! (Isn't that why you'd call 911?)
911: "Ma'am, what is the problem?"
me: "My swimming pool is spewing 5000 gallons of water all over the backyard!"
911: "Are you hurt?"
me: "Only my feet."
911: "Your feet, ma'am?"
me: "Yes. I'm currently standing in shin-deep ice cold water."
911: "Hmmm... Is there any flooding?"
me: "Other than a river flowing through my backyard, we're fine." (Luckily enough, our house and the neighbor's are a little higher than the yard... and the yard slopes to the street a little...)
911: "What can I help you with?"
me: "Other than letting me vent... probably nothing."
911: "All right ma'am. Go inside, put on some warm socks and have a Merry Christmas."
me: "Hmmmm...."

Stupid pool. Apparently the winterizer kit that we bought doesn't actually prevent ice from tearing a large hole in the side of your pool.