Sweet, Sweet Sam

This isn't an easy post to write. But I figure that if you care enough about my family to still be reading my blog, you care enough to pray with us as well. We have had concerns for Sam's development for a while now. I've had a feeling that all was not "right" with her since I was pregnant. It has been quite the roller coaster and I think it's possible that we just got on the ride. Sam had an appointment yesterday with the neuro-development team at Mary Bridge. She is at about the level of a two to three month old. She turns six months old in a couple of days. We knew that she wasn't laughing yet, and that she didn't initiate smiles, and that you have to force her to make eye contact. We thought it was all social stuff. It's not. She also has really poor muscle tone in her arms and shoulders. And doesn't sit up like she should, and doesn't roll over like she should. I'm not sure why the physical bad news makes this so much bigger to me. Maybe it hits too close to home. My brothers, Daniel, Stephen, and Michail died from spinal muscular atrophy and Tom's brother, Wes is in the end stages of muscular dystrophy. I don't think she has either of those things, but it's, all of a sudden, scary. Sam has had wonderful blessings and they give us so much hope and peace. I guess what we are feeling is turmoil. I am also overcome with gratitude for my own problems. As I was sitting in the waiting room surrounded by really sick kids and these amazing mothers (Shout out to Tiffany. I don't know how you do it...) I was so thankful to be there with my sweet, sweet daughter. She is so wonderful and just draws people in. I don't think most people would guess that there is a problem. She seems so normal. But nothing makes her excited, and, on the other hand, nothing makes her mad. The neuro-development people were excited to see her, because most of the "too good" babies aren't diagnosed until they go to school. It's hard to explain to mom's of fussy babies that you are concerned because your baby is just too good. From here, we still don't know much, but it feels like we are headed in the right direction. It feels good. She has an appointment with a pediatric neurologist and will start occupational therapy once a week. She also qualifies for a bunch of programs run by the county and will have a nurse coming in to the house to work with her here. Her sisters are good for her, they told us it's great that she's not an only child. Apparently being born into chaos does have it's advantages... As I'm typing this, Sam-o is laying on the floor, watching the twins do puzzles. She just smiled at me, and I feel peace. This sweet child has been sent to us for a reason. We'll do whatever it takes to help her succeed. We love our Sam.